Wednesday, September 15, 2010

A Lesson I Learned From My Daughter

This past week has been such an eye opener for me. Not only a a mom, but as a Christian.

Conner and Tyler have been dating since May and sometime in late June, early July he and his band decided to move. Conner wasn't happy, but she kept on trucking along. Spending as much time with him as she could. Throughout their relationship they faced many obstacles, the least of which was people upset because they were dating (too old, too young, nothing in common, etc.). They fought for the chance to find out more about each other. What impressed me most was Tyler writing me asking to date my daughter. By agreeing, I lost a friend, but then again, maybe she wasn't a friend. She never took the time to find out what my rules were for dating. But that's ok, I survived.

This past weekend Conner and Tyler saw each other for the last time. I got a call late Sunday night to come pick up my very distraught daughter. I cried on the way. As a mom we never want to see our children hurt. But, as a mom we also know it's coming. How to prepare ourselves, how to find the right words, how to get them to see that their world and life is not over. It's sad and hard.

I asked for prayer for Conner. It's not easy being a teenager today and being a Christian one is even harder. So, I thought prayer was definitely in order.

Upon talking to Conner she told me that she has always encouraged Tyler to follow his dreams, even if it meant giving up her dreams.

Monday I went to knitting and was telling one of the ladies about what happened and how Tyler was leaving to start a new life, but that Conner was left behind.

Upon listening to me talk about Conner, Sharon (my knitting buddy), turned to me and said "She's the perfect example of Christian love"! I had to stop and think about that.

Upon reflection, I have to agree. It's amazing that my 16 year old can teach me such an important lesson and I can't recognize it for what it is. We have tried to instill strong Christian values in Conner, but as a parent, you never know if what you are trying to teach your kids will stick. Well, it does.

Conner has taught me that 1 Corinthians 13 is alive and well.

13:4 - 8a Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

How many of us can readily put someone else before ourselves? Encouranging them to follow their dream, even tho it is killing us inside. Honestly, how many of us?

How many of us would recognize such an unselfish act if we saw it or were recepient of it?

How many of us would praise the unselfish act for what it is? Putting into practice what Jesus taught us.

It doesn't mean that life doesn't hurt and that our hearts don't break, but it does show God and Jesus work thru us without us even knowing it.

So, thank you Conner. I know your hurting and your heart is broken, but I want to thank you for teaching your mom and for being the perfect example of Christian love.
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