17 Years ago I gave birth to our daughter. Since that time, I have yet to get rid of the excess weight I gained. It's now time to try and get rid of it. My first concern is the possibility of having diabetes. No, I haven't been tested, but if you looked at my dad's side of the family, it's rampant. My Mom's side, none. I know that most things run from the Mom's side, but I just don't want to take that chance. So, I decided 2 weeks ago to try and lose some weight.
I think the biggest problem for me has been "hitting the wall". You (or at least I) have to finally reach a point where enough is enough. You are miserable in your clothes, refuse to buy a bigger size, don't want to look in the mirror and don't want anyone (especially your hubby) looking at you because you feel like you're bigger than your house. The last one I know is not true, but at a certain time of the month, it sure can feel that way :-)
I have tried diet centers, weight loss clubs, gyms, walking, the Wii, the treadmill, my exercise machine, all to no avail. I tried last October to lose weight. I actually did it. I tried eating 1500 calories a day. I counted EVERYTHING that went into my mouth. Do you know how tiring that is? How frustrating it is to keep it at 1500 and not go over? I hate living by my weight. I want to go out and buy a size 8 pair of pants again. I want to buy a Lg. shirt instead of an XL (which won't ever happen because I have really broad shoulders, but it's nice to dream). I want to be able to wear my wedding bad. I haven't worn it since I had my daughter all those years ago. It sits in my drawer, very sad.
In October I lost about 20 pounds, but then the holidays came and that counting calories went right out the window. I welcomed all those lovely carbs into my life with open arms and an open mouth.
Now, I'm not obsessed with food, but I do like it. I love to cook and bake and share my goodies with my friends and family. Thankfully, regretably, my husband only likes white cake with white icing, Snickers and peanut M&M's. Oh, and cinnamon rolls, but I don't make them too often - they're a lot of work. So, there normally isn't baked goods laying around my house. There are however, chips and salsa and candy, lots of candy.
I don't own a scale - I haven't in years. I threw the thing out because I went to a diet place that had you weigh in EVERY DAY!! Do you know how much your life ends up revovling around that darn thing? I decided enough was enough and tossed it. I now gauge by the size clothes I wear and in the scheme of things, I'm not doing bad. I still wear the same size and have for the past 17 years or so. The problem is, that is not where I want to be.
So, where to begin. Well, I have two dear friends who both have diabetes. One of them lost a lot of weight by watching her sugars (not sugar, sugars). She has been an encouragement to me and my other friend to finally jump in with both feet and get started to what I hope will be a successful endeavor. This is a record of my journey. It may be a short journey and total car wreck, but I'm going to give this my best shot and I'm bringing you along for the ride. Hold on, it'll probably get bumpy.
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